Cheese Plate Math: How Much Per Person, How Many Cheeses, and What Goes Around Them
A cheese plate goes wrong in exactly two ways. Either there is not enough cheese and the board looks picked over twenty minutes in, or there are seven cheeses and nobody can tell what they are eating. Both are arithmetic problems, and both have arithmetic answers. We do not sell cheese, which makes us an honest referee; what we sell is everything that goes around it, and the numbers below are the ones that work.
How much cheese
As a starter or a party snack: one to two ounces of cheese per person, total, across all the cheeses. For eight people, that is between half a pound and a pound of cheese on the board.
As the meal: three to four ounces per person. For eight, a pound and a half to two pounds. Add bread rather than more cheese if you are worried.
The dinner-party trap: a cheese course after a full meal wants less than a starter, about an ounce per person, one or two cheeses, and something sweet beside them.
Round up if the crowd is young, if the board is the only food, or if it will sit out more than an hour. Round down if there is a real dinner coming.
How many cheeses
Three. Occasionally four. Never more unless the party is a cheese tasting, in which case it is not a cheese plate. Three cheeses in three styles lets each one be recognized, and the classic split is by texture: one soft, one hard, one blue or one washed-rind. A brie-style or fresh goat cheese; an aged Gouda, Comté, Manchego or cheddar; a Gorgonzola, Stilton or a pungent Taleggio. If there is a fourth, make it a wild card, a sheep's cheese or something smoked. Buy the three in roughly equal weights; the hard cheese will go slowest and the soft fastest, which works out.
The temperature rule
Every cheese comes out of the refrigerator at least thirty minutes before serving, unwrapped, and a full hour for a hard aged cheese. Cold cheese is mute; the flavor compounds in the fat do not release. This is the single largest improvement most boards can make, and it costs nothing. The same rule applies to jamón if it is joining the board.
How many crackers
One six-ounce box of crackers per four people, minimum, plus a loaf of bread if it is the meal. Crackers disappear faster than cheese. Put out two kinds, one plain and one with more character, and keep the sweet biscuits for the end. Our cracker guide explains which cracker under which cheese; the short version is that strong cheese wants a plain cracker like Rustic Bakery's sel gris flatbread, and Goulibeur's Comté sablés are the ones to put out on their own with a glass of something.
What goes around the cheese, and why
Every accompaniment does one of four jobs: sweetness against salt, acid against fat, crunch against softness, or savory depth alongside savory depth. A good board has at least one of each.
Sweet. Honey with blue cheese and with aged sheep's cheese is the oldest pairing in Europe; a runny varietal honey with a dipper is worth its space. A fig or cherry preserve with a soft cheese, a spoonful only. Membrillo or another fruit paste with Manchego. Dried apricots or figs from the dried fruit shelf. A thread of saba or aged balsamic over a hard cheese is the Emilian move.
Acid. Cornichons and a spoon of Dijon beside the hard cheese and the meat. A few pickled peppers. Fresh grapes or thin apple slices, which are acid too.
Crunch and salt. Marcona almonds or a roasted nut from our nut shelf. Green olives, always, with a saucer for pits. A sprinkle of flaky salt on a fresh goat cheese.
Savory. A fan of jamón or a few slices of salchichón, draped rather than stacked. A tin of oil-packed anchovies opened beside the board for the adventurous. And, unexpectedly, a spoon of goat's milk caramel beside a wedge of aged cheddar or a goat cheese, which our caramel guide describes as the pairing that ends arguments.
Three or four accompaniments is right. Eight is a buffet.
The board itself
Cheeses spaced apart, each with its own knife, so flavors do not cross. Cut a first slice from each so guests know how. Soft cheeses on a small plate of their own if they run. Accompaniments in small bowls or directly on the board in tidy piles, not scattered like confetti. Crackers off the board, in a basket beside it, so they stay dry and the board stays about cheese. Label the cheeses if there are more than two; a torn piece of card and a pencil is fine and people love it.
The worked example
For eight people as a starter before dinner: three cheeses, five ounces each; two boxes of crackers; a pot of honey, a jar of fig preserve, a bowl of olives, a dish of cornichons, a handful of almonds; one pack of jamón. Everything out of the refrigerator at six for a seven-thirty arrival. The board will look generous and there will be a little left, which is the correct outcome.
For eight as the meal: the same three cheeses at ten ounces each, two loaves of bread and two boxes of crackers, the full set of accompaniments, two packs of cured meat, and the no-cook dinner party playbook for the rest of the table.
The honey, preserves, olives, cornichons, mustard, nuts, crackers, jamón and caramel are at 263 Josephine Street in Cherry Creek, Denver, and ship nationwide from theambrosianpantry.com. The cheese itself is a job for a good cheesemonger.
